• LouNeko@lemmy.world
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    4 days ago

    For the longest time I was under the impression that everybody has unlimited potential, that you can essentially take a homeless junkie of the streets send them through college, give then a job and have a functioning intelligent person come out at the end. That is absolutely not true. based on my own experience we all have limits and glass ceilings. Yes, we all live on the same clock, but some of us have to deal with so much behind the scenes just to stay afloat while others can breeze through life like its nothing. There are people who are incredibly academically gifted but absolutely inept in personal or household stuff, some people are thick as a rock but incredibly charming, etc. We all have our strengths and weaknesses but sometimes of course all the marbles roll into the right holes and you get somebody who’s good at everything they touch and are almost doomed to success.

    There are just things that I will never able to grasp, or habits that I will never able to form because I tried my whole life and it never worked out. I consider myself as a fairly baseline dude, so its safe to say that if I have these experiences the majority of people will have them as well.

    • Akasazh@feddit.nl
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      4 days ago

      For me it was that other people think in the same manner, basically. But it turns out that brain usage is very different for people. So some people use more of their visual cortex for maths, making them see color in numbers.

      In this video Richard Feynman explains it better then I could.

      https://youtu.be/Cj4y0EUlU-Y

        • Akasazh@feddit.nl
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          3 days ago

          Yeah that’s his talent, such an amazing man. If you haven’t, read his biographie.

          The video is part of a longer series ‘fun to imagine’ is really with it watching them all.

  • Legge@lemmy.world
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    4 days ago

    That if you weren’t part of “our” religion (my family’s religion, Catholic), you were basically living your life wrong and were an awful person. When I went to college I met people who believed different things, including in nothing, and I realized they were not, in fact, terrible, almost subhuman, people. I quickly changed for the better and that’s one of the best things to ever happen to me. It’s amazing how accepting you can be when you just accept people for who they are

    • DandomRude@lemmy.worldOP
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      4 days ago

      It could easily have been the same for me, as my father is a Protestant pastor. Fortunately, my family has always been very tolerant and open-minded. That’s how my parents brought me up, for which I’m still very grateful to them today. It’s good to hear that you’ve found your own path, which certainly wasn’t easy. Respect, my friend.

    • corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca
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      3 days ago

      Three of my cousins are sisters in the same family. All three are vegans, just one of them militant.

      While we enjoy the two happy vegans and their great families and their joy at sharing their chosen lifestyle, we get no judgement from them; unlike the militant sister who reminds us we’re all going to a kind of hell on earth of our own making and we deserve to be sick for eating creature-flesh, etc.

      Your comment reminds me that beliefs other than religious can be used by over-eager proselytists to judge and belittle people. And yeah, she’s so off my friends list.

  • ResoluteCatnap@lemmy.ml
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    4 days ago

    Being Mormon.

    They always told us that people who gave us anti-mormon literature just made stuff up and it was Satan’s way of tempting us. They said to never take any anti-mormon literature and if someone did give it to you then to throw it away without reading.

    But at the same time they taught us that the Mormon church was the true church. And they also taught us truth was absolute. Well, i figured if truth is absolute, and if the church was THE true church then it would be able to withstand any criticism. So i read anti mormon literature, like the CES letter. From there i did my own research about various things and found that the Mormon church made up a lot of stuff and did lots of gaslighting.

    There was some specific issues that i also had been struggling with, like their treatment of women, gays, and black men/women. That also helped push me to want to make sure if the Mormon church was really true. And it wasn’t. Now i can love my friends unconditionally.

    • RinseDrizzle@midwest.social
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      4 days ago

      Good on you for challenging beliefs and forming your own opinions. Not easy to pull yourself out of these things.

  • lohky@lemmy.world
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    4 days ago

    That my dad cared about or respected me. After a family dinner, my wife asked me if he always talked about me like that and it just kind of clicked. Things like telling my kid, “If you play too many video games, they’ll melt your brain like your dad” or “why would anyone pay you that much” when I told them that I broke a six figure salary. She made me realize that this wasn’t normal and I didn’t have to sit there and listen to it just because of who he is.

    I haven’t spoken to him or really any of my side of the family in almost two years now. Good riddance.

    • corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca
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      3 days ago

      Some parents forget to support your goals when it’s not in-line with their goals for you; despite probably having the same childhood.

      Always be looking for the opportunity to forgive them if it should appear. Not before, but be ready in case they clue-in.

  • traches@sh.itjust.works
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    5 days ago

    Raised conservative christian, took a disgustingly long time to lose some of my shittier takes

    • nickiwest@lemmy.world
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      4 days ago

      I recently saw a shirt for sale online that says, “I’m sorry for everything I said when I was evangelical,” and that really just about sums it up.

    • Firebirdie713@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      4 days ago

      Fellow former conservative christian here, and I share that pain. I eventually came around thanks to a LOT of patience from friends who understood my background.

      I try to pay it forward by putting myself out there and extending a hand to anyone looking to understand and accept others. I have had decent success with anyone who asks in good faith.

    • dethedrus@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      4 days ago

      Don’t beat yourself up. Seriously.

      I was able to break free early partly due to how absurd the hypocrisy became. My mother was going to hell, not because she’s a cold narcissist, but a Jew and a ‘practitioner’ of new age bullshit. And my father saw nothing at all wrong with this type of belief.

      Not to mention he was pretty racist (though in a ‘subtle’ way), while helping raise my adopted Korean sister.

      I was lucky that he and my mother were such atrociously bad examples of how to deal with others, that I vowed to never be like them.

  • ComradeSharkfucker@lemmy.ml
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    4 days ago

    I thought I’d live a comfortable stable life pursuing the sciences for the sake of knowledge. I learned in the past year or two through studying political economy and climate science that this is pretty unlikely. These days idk what to do. I want to do something more useful, I want to help people but it all feels quite hopeless. It often feels like revolution is the only option but I fear it may even be too late for that. We are already past the point where hundreds of millions will die and be displaced. We are already past the point of inevitable severe famine and societal collapse in many places. We aren’t even accomplishing damage control and it feels like most people don’t even dare acknowledge it.

    • dnick@sh.itjust.works
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      4 days ago

      If it makes it any easier, those hundreds of millions of people are going to die anyway, the only tragedy about it is that it’s from something we could technically prevent or mitigate, but most things are like that… Traffic, smoking, guns, unhealthy diet… The climate changing isnt really going to affect the earth, our short sightedness and ignorance will just make lots of areas we can comfortable live in now much less comfortable or unlivable entirely. It’s going to suck, but do what you can with what you have and just the fact that you know enough to care means you have something to offer.

      • ComradeSharkfucker@lemmy.ml
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        4 days ago

        You are vastly underestimating what will happen if we allow things to continue as they are. We are already at the point of severe famine and 100’s of millions dying and global emissions have continued to increase at essentially the same rate as before every year. Every day that we do nothing the list of dead grows longer. If I were to do nothing but watch then I would consider myself complicit. I think the worst part is that we all know exactly who is responsible but still somehow do nothing about it. I’m genuinely honestly shocked that we don’t see them all as the mass murderers they are. This cannot be a sane world.

        Despite this, I do appreciate the condolences.

        • Teppichbrand@feddit.org
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          3 days ago

          No, we are not past that point. Stuff can happen fast. Christianity becoming a world religion after being some strange hippy cult for few generations, the collapse of communist eastern europe without a war, noone saw that coming. I agree it looks grim and I’m not optimistic, but I refuse to give up just a few years after grasping global warming. It is not too late and becoming a doomer is not helping.

    • BoxOfFeet@lemmy.world
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      3 days ago

      Just go into a high paying field, and move somewhere that won’t be affected as badly. The apocalypse is BYOB, so start prepping.

  • hushable@lemmy.world
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    4 days ago

    As a non American who has never been to the US, but grew up well within its sphere of cultural influence.

    I thought that about half of the population was black, maybe 40% minimum. I was surprised to learn that it was just above 10% in reality.

  • HEXN3T@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    5 days ago

    Marshmellow is not correct. It’s marshmallow. I learned by spell checker. Only took nearly 21 years.

  • twig@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    3 days ago

    I used to be kind of low level anti-pharmaceuticals. Nothing too dramatic (never antivax), but definitely quietly on the side of other forms of interventions of any kind being preferable over drugs.

    I still acknowledge that in many instances other interventions can be better, but in a lot of cases a pharmaceutical intervention is the quickest, most effective and safest way for people to deal with whatever health or mental health conditions they have. And also lots of drugs are perfectly safe over the long term.

    I think I was raised with a lot of ideas around purity, but when I came out as trans is when that started to change in a big way.

  • KingJalopy @lemm.ee
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    4 days ago

    Thinking the words, “just calm down” in the heat of an argument with my wife will actually work if I just try it enough times. Mathematically it should but it seems math doesn’t care about that.

    • corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca
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      3 days ago

      My gorgeous wife’s ginger hair and flashing green eyes warned me off that tactic early on. And I’m alive to tell the tale.

  • HootinNHollerin@lemmy.world
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    4 days ago

    Rinsing after brushing teeth. The fluoride in the toothpaste should stay on your teeth for to be effective. So you should floss, then brush, and wait to rinse

    • garbagebagel@lemmy.world
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      4 days ago

      I learned last year that you’re supposed to floss BEFORE you brush. I have no idea why no one ever taught me that.

      • phoneymouse@lemmy.world
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        4 days ago

        Yeah you loosen up every thing and then brush it out. Actually, I floss, swish, then brush. I end with brush by because the fluoride concentration in toothpaste is much much higher than in most fluoride mouthwash. I’d rather leave that on my teeth after I’m done.

    • phoneymouse@lemmy.world
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      4 days ago

      I floss, rinse, then brush. The fluoride content of toothpaste is much higher than rinse, so I’d rather end having that on my teeth than a weaker dose from the rinse.

  • witty_username@feddit.nl
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    5 days ago

    Alanis Morisette is not the artist that did the “I’m a bitch I’m a lover” song. Meredith Brooks is the artist.
    I found out because I had the song stuck in my head and I looked it up on yt. The comments section showed me that I wasn’t the only one who thought the song was by Alanis Morisette
    Llllink

  • MrVilliam@lemmy.world
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    5 days ago

    I was certain that a gander was a group of geese. Why? Because apparently everybody who has ever used the phrase “what’s good for the goose is good for the gander” around me was using it wrong. I just learned this week that a gander is a male goose. So based on misuse, I thought that the phrase meant that what’s beneficial for one is beneficial for the greater group, but what it really means is that what’s acceptable in the case for one should be equally acceptable for others in the same situation.

    I’m nearly 36 and I would say that I’m smarter than most people, but this was a gaping hole in my knowledge that was pretty damn humbling to learn of and correct.

      • MrVilliam@lemmy.world
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        4 days ago

        No, it’s more like “if Larry gets a 10% grade reduction for turning his paper in a day late to you, then I shouldn’t be getting this 20% grade reduction for turning this paper in a day late to you.” It’s more of a call for things to be fair and give everybody equal treatment.

        There was a recent court decision regarding Donald Trump that, more or less, appointing a special counsel for the purposes of DOJ impartiality is not constitutionally acceptable. As a result, Hunter Biden, who was investigated and prosecuted via special counsel in order to maintain impartiality from the DOJ since his father is the sitting president, essentially argued that “what’s good for the goose is good for the gander.” Meaning that if Donald Trump should have his case dismissed under the pretext of special counsel being an invalid idea, then so too should Hunter Biden. That decision was already generally seen as fucking silly, but the silliness was put on full display for partisan hacks and their audience.