There was a post a few weeks ago referring to seals as “300kg cats with the emotional stability of a toddler and the morals of a seagull.”
So… yeah.
the morals of a seagull
im going to fucking collapse
The seagulls will eat you, no ragrets
It’s some kind of birdemic. With other animals, such as seals.
They’ll swallow you for sure
European or African swallow?
MINE!
I only have experience with one of them - sea lions. I was working on a survey ship, and we had these buoys in the water that we serviced from time to time. One of these buoys, uppon approaching, turned out to have a sea lion chilling on top.
He fucked off when we started getting really close, but when we got the buoy onboard he had left a massive turd on top of this cable connector that I needed to unplug. Very unfriendly. 0/10, would not recommend this friendship.
I would like to have a civil conversation about your statement. Would you mind showing me evidence of any negative thing any sea lion has ever done to you?
Wild animals are 100% preservation first. The elephants, seals and sea lions that you see being nice to people have been trained that people are not a threat.
Or a treat
Touche!
Absolutely, wild animals are wild, never forget
Well shiiiit
During a show at the Mirage on Horn’s birthday on October 3, 2003, a seven-year-old white tiger named Mantacore attacked Horn. (The name of the tiger has frequently been misspelled as “Montecore” in media reports.[16]) As part of the act, but veering off script, Horn held the microphone to Mantacore’s mouth and told him to say “hello” to the audience. Mantacore responded by biting Horn’s sleeve. Horn swatted the tiger and barked “release!”, while standby trainers unsuccessfully attempted to distract the cat with cubes of meat. Possibly incited by Horn’s retreat, the tiger leapt at Horn, swinging at his legs and knocking him off his feet.[16]
As trainers rushed to the stage to assist, Mantacore bit into Horn’s neck and dragged him offstage toward his cage. Trainers finally got the tiger to release Horn by spraying him with CO2 fire extinguisher canisters, which was the last resort available.[16]
Steve Irwin has entered the chat
In the wild, all three are territorial, aggressively horny, and articulate enough to be known to kill their own young at times. So not particularly.
I’m having a hard time with “articulate” in this context…?
Perhaps it means “aggressive” in Autocorrectese?
What I meant by “articulate” is most species wouldn’t fathom killing their young as a form of expression of angst. However, in elephants, seals, and walruses, this isn’t an uncommon thing to see in the wild, in fact a large percentage of the ones in zoos have been victims of the elephant/walrus/seal equivalent of unexplained child abuse that were “adopted” by zookeepers.
I’m really confused then, since “articulate” to me means clear, distinct speech, being good with words, or having the power of speech. I don’t know what it means in this context.
“Articulate” as in a rough synonym of expressive. Art is articulate. Gaming can be articulate. Or at least that’s what I’m going by. I learned full English later in life, which may explain why some people say my word choice isn’t 100% analogous to its closest counterpart.
Ah, I see where you’re coming from with that interpretation, thanks for the clarification! (For what it’s worth, for this English speaker, “articulate” has a very strong connotation of speech.)
To me it has a connotation of the individual connections clearly established. Hands are articulate mechanisms because they’re highly divided down into small pieces.
Articulate can relate to physical flexibility, jointedness, which isn’t a strong point for seals on land, and may contribute to their tendency to squash their pups. Speaking clearly is also not a strong point.
They don’t just squash their pups, they often outright slaughter.
Or, or what if a seal could make a few human noise yeah? Or?
I thought my English failed me, but it is flawlessing as altimes.
English fail you? That’s unpossible!
Deft perhaps? Able to catch little nimble ones such as your human self or their own offspring?
Are you asking whether you’re having a hard time? I see the interrogative, and it parses like that.
Well, I was asking whether they meant another word or whether I was misunderstanding their use of this one. They did indeed choose articulate, and were using it in a way that is foreign to my experience.
I think people assume they’re friendly because they can be pretty curious, which can appear like friendliness, but I’ve heard they’re aggressive biters when messed with.
They have a high bar as well. You could do so much as try to get too comfortable near their flock and they’ll attack you. All three animals have a known altruistic side, but this is balanced by a heightened degree of erraticness.
They will fuck you up if you get too close for comfort.
Considering they’re are carnivorous predators I wouldn’t touch them with a pole.
Not even if the pole were eight feet long?
Not even if the pole was the meanest, toughest slav in eastern europe
Wish I could upvote you twice
Oh sure. People go clubbing with seals all the time!
Oh I hate that I’m giving you an upvote!
Seals are pretty food motivated and are willing to hang so long as there’s a treat supply.
Walruses and sea lions will generally fuck your shit up.
If you can’t tell the difference, it’s best to just stay away.
Keep your dogs away:
https://youtube.com/shorts/J-GHJwcWCmM
Keep your kids away:
Keep your cars away:
(note, that last one is actually a seal, not a sea lion).
that’s wild with the kid, but why let the kid sit there
Surprised I haven’t seen this in the thread yet. It happened a few years back and was caught on camera.
Sea Lion Snatches Little Girl And Drags Her Into Water.
Pretty disturbing watch honestly.
Edit: oh someone had indeed posted it
Sometimes but not always. Dominant males especially can be dangerously aggressive.
Also moms protecting their offsprings.
Having read the question, I find that I’m really invested in the idea of a world where this is true. I would give them so many scritches.
Only when they’ve been stuffed or turned into a coat or rug (or ivory carvings in the case of walruses, specifically the tusks) they’re assholes otherwise.
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Yes and they love being pet, next time you’re at the zoo hop the fence and give it a go.
The fence is just there to keep predators out.
The fence is just there to keep predators out.
We have probably killed and eaten more of every animal species at a zoo than vice versa.
So in a sense…
That’s stupid. A blooded Yautja can easily jump over 18’ vertically and some clans can jump over 40’ vertically, no chance those little barriers are going to stop one from getting at their quarry.
Oh no my mistake (well yours too really) I didn’t mean Predators, as you well know Yautja are natural allies of aquatic mammals.
I am of course referring to the common human toddler as the most violent predator to these beautiful creatures.
This is why we have cribs. It’s for us, not for them.
Harambe literally got mauled to death by one of those devils. I’m pro choice for a reason.
being pet
Isn’t ‘petted’ the past participle in English? Otherwise it’s cosplay.
I remember reading a story related by a nature photographer who was swimming with leopard seals. Apparently one of them liked him, and thought he might be hungry, so it casually ripped the head off a penguin and offered him the corpse.