“Damn,” cough cough “does the air feel… scratchy to anyone else?” dies from 21st century supervirus
Watching a playthrough of the God of War franchise: “who’s this Kratos guy, he seems like a bad-ass…”
Returns home, founds a new religion: “No, see, Ares IS cool and all, but I’m telling you, someone’s going to come along and beat his ass…”
Well, cats are still worshiped as they gods they are, so that’s good. Ra and Anubis, and especially Thoth, are shadows of themselves, so that’s disheartening. The enduring brilliance of Ra is self-evident: the sun still rises. The extent to which people have fallen in moral decadence and false idol worship, so far that they’ve forgotten and taken for granted the source of all life, is immeasurably disappointing.
Cat jumps down from pedestal and rubs itself against your leg.
BEHOLD IT’S THE LONG AWAITED PHAROAH!
(thanks for the catnip Walmart)
“Why are the winning athletes no longer burned? Sky God gets cranky when he’s hungry.”
Well, for starters, I probably piss my loincloth in terror at the magic around me. I fall into a gibbering mass seeking the favor of whatever my city’s patron god is, that he/she will protect me from the sorcerers around me who conjure lights, images and sounds from their magic tablets. I then run screaming as they surround me and speak incantations at me in their arcane language and try to take a hold of me to do unspeakable things to me. Finally, I either succumb to one of the great, colorful beasts which zip by, hunting on great black stretches of black rock. Or, if I am lucky, I find a knife and kill myself before the sorcerers can devour my soul.
The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul.
I would have been an atheist then as well. So…. I suppose I’d be sad that people still believe in that nonsense.
They bleed gold stuff? This movie sucks!
Ooga booga (I traveled from 2.5 million years ago)
oh. anyways.
🍿
Fuck yeah!
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