I’ll start. My girlfriend’s cat never purrs or does the “baking biscuits” thing even when he is clearly enjoying the cuddles.
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I made the mistake of letting my cat drink from a slow stream of running water in my bathroom sink ONE TIME and ever since then the little wench will not allow me to take a shit in peace, within seconds of me closing the bathroom door she starts scratching demanding me to turn the faucet on for her.
I’d buy her a fountain if I didn’t know that she would still prefer the sink, in classic asshole cat form.
My cat is obsessed with grooming beards. As in…will not stop until you force him off. My partner plays a little game where they fight for kisses. The cat will try to get close and groom his beard and my partner will take advantage of the closeness to smother him in kisses. The cat is not a huge fan of the kisses so they do this thing where they both waver in front of each other like cobras, both trying to find an in to kiss/lick. Sometimes when my partner moves in for a kiss, the cat will lean backwards and turn his face to the side, denying the kiss. Then as soon as my partner backs off, the cat quickly moves forward to lick his beard again. It’s hysterical and I never tire of watching the game.
Unusual overall? A lot, since she’s a chicken, and they’re batshit crazy.
But unusual for a chicken would have to be her habit of cuddling. She doesn’t do it often, but when she wants to cuddle she cuddles the hell out of you she pecks my arm until I wrap it around her, then borrows her beak into the crook of my elbow then starts her little content chuckle/purr.
After that, there are only two rules: no touch, only cuddle. And no moving, only cuddle.
Anything else is met with an indignant rage that can’t even be matched by a church lady at a strip club getting teabagged. There will be squawking, and you will obey, or suffer the Wrath of Marans (which rhymes with Khan, and the s is silent because it’s french).
The Wrath of Marans is mostly just more squawking, followed by angry stomping. But it’s terrifying if you squint really hard. Okay, if you squint real hard and pretend you’ve been shrunk to the size of a particularly small mouse.
The Wrath of Marans can also be doled out for other crimes such as; not surrendering the biscuit, not surrendering the peanuts, not surrendering the completely inedible piece of aluminum foil in your hand, or the absolute worst crime of all; Picking The Chicken Goddess Up to Prevent Her Pecking Things That Will Hurt Her. Which can be elevated to all caps as needed. Which is just the same thing with extra squawking and some growls.
You pull the string, the pointer spins and lands on: The Chicken says BAAAAAWWWWWWK! I WILL EAT YOU, PITIFUL HUMAN!
Jesus. Did Terry Pratchett fake his death and are you him?
Well written. That made me happy. Also your chicken sounds adorable.
Nobody has ever given me a compliment that wonderful. Thank you very much :)
My dog refuses to poop in our yard. Has no issues in any other, just not at home.
Once, he had a diarhea and wanted outside. I was a couple of times in the span of couple of hours so I thought fuck it, I will use it - I let him out and thought when he can’t hold anymore, he will let it out and I will try to make it a training excercise for him to see it’s ok. Nope! Had to take him in the end because he was shaking in front of the fence gate, tail between legs, looking at me desperately.
So I had to accept he would rather die than to let poop out in his yard.
Both of my cats will never, I mean never, sit on my lap.
One likes to jump from side to side over me when I’m sleeping. She also lets me lay my head on her like a pillow.
One will play fetch like a dog. She will only eat her treats if I throw them.
They both know what push means when I tell them to open the door.
They both love drawers.
Our dog does a front leg “handstand” to pee. I assume she peed on her hind legs once and decided keeping feet of the ground is a better plan.
So - both hind legs are in the air, am I reading this correctly? Would love to see that lol
Yes, back end floating. Will try to get a video one day
I have seen this. It was a teacup poodle.
I have a cat that plays fetch.
It sounds cute, and it is - until he’s bringing you q-tips he dug out of the trash to play with.
All three of ours play fetch, but only with specific objects. They’re all brothers about 2½ years old.
The tabby cat plays fetch with fluffy toy balls with feathers on them, the grey cat plays fetch with spare cat collars and the little black cat plays fetch with menthol sweet wrappers.
Every time my cat sneaks to our bedroom trash and grabs a q-tip, he SPRINTS out the room and we both yell “CONTRABAND!!!”
Our cats also play fetch as well! We have these shitty bouncy foam balls we dub “regular ball” that they’ll often bring into the room to have us throw them. We have to keep a bag of treats handy at all times.
We got some of those trash cans that have to foot operated lid and a pretty heavy spring on the lid, they’ve been super helpful keeping our dogs out of the bathroom trash.
I had a cat who loved doing that with a ball of paper. It was basically the only toy she cared for. I bought her so much stuff but it was all not interesting.
My cat and I would play catch when he was younger. Then he discovered the outdoors and that was the end of that. He’s content to just come in for a lap sit in the evenings these days.
My cat used to do this too! Now she doesn’t bring stuff back lol.
One of mine does that too. He only likes sparkle balls or rattle mice tho, so no risk of gross items from the garbage fortunately.
We have a wood floor and his favorite thing is to have me throw it in that room so he can slide halfway across it while fetching the toy.
He has definitely slid into the wall a time or two.
Our tabby also loves to fetch and he prefers the rattle mice too
When my little terrier/chihuahua mix was a puppy she would give me a “hug” first thing In the morning. I’d sit up in bed and say “time to go to work” and she would put her front paws around my neck and press her face against mine. She eventually would do it on command. Then she had surgery to correct a luxating patella (knee cap pops out of place) and never did it again.
She also used to drag herself across the carpet with her front legs, back legs dragging behind her. We would call it “swimming”.
Being part terrier she is very smart but also stubborn. When our senior dog passed, I taught her lots of tricks. One trick was to ring a bell when she wanted to go outside. I rigged up a donut shapped toy she could paw that was attached to a spring with a bell on it. She refused to ring it. I know she knew what to do, she just refused. When she wanted a treat she would paw the cabinet just like I taught her to paw the bell/toy. Eventually I gave up. Fast forward to a year later. We get another puppy and as soon as I try to teach new dog how to ring the bell she runs over and slams it. From that point on she slams the bell ten times a day.
My grandfather’s cat used to play goalie. She would guard some area, like a doorway and expect us to tty to toss a ball or something through. She’d then catch it and return the ball to us for more.
As far as I was concerned, cats puff up their tails in moments of stress/conflict to make themselves look bigger. My cats tail puffs up when I give him the good pets
Bonus photo
That’s adorable. Mine will get really excited for food sometimes and get all poofy because of it. If she’s extra happy about it, she’ll even hiss.
What a little weirdo. I love cats
Sir Kitty was sensitive to the tone of my voice. If I was arguing with my husband, and especially if I was crying, he would come over, get on my lap if he can, and yell at both of us. (RIP July 2020, age 16) Here he is looking like he’s comatose.
Pez used to use her front paws to hold her tail up so she could groom it. I know it’s not super unusual, but she was the only one of our three who did that. (RIP November 2019, age 17+?) Here she is in the middle of a sneeze.
Murphy likes stinky socks and shoes. (Still kicking at 20+)
Pour one out for Sir Kitty, Knight of the Sofa, Protector of the Treats, Lord of the Snuggles!
Funny you gave him the title of Knight of the Sofa. He had a spot on the back of our couch that is still dented to this day from his constant weight on it.
2020:
2024:
My cat has learned to say “Hello?” when he’s looking for me. It’s like “mherrrro?” It’s kind of amazing.
When fighting her brother, Cerys got him in a headlock with her back legs then reared up and went to fucking town with her forepaws on his head like it was bongos.
My snake likes to wrap around and ‘strangle’ watches. Not bracelets, just watches.
Snek is just killing time.
Do you think the ticking feels like a heartbeat to it?
I’d say yes… except he does it to smart and digital watches too.
My dog likes to steal things when we’re out of the house and leave them on the stairs or on our bed.
She’s not a breed that’s known for having a particularly soft mouth, their claim to fame is probably the opposite if anything (malinois) so it’s kind of impressive when I find an avocado or a martini glass somewhere unexpected without even the slightest bruise.
We joke that they’re her “emotional support objects.”
