there was something I could somehow magically fix if I just kept pushing myself through the rock in my way.

This is one of the worst “thought traps” out there. The biggest change in my life was when I decided to learn to work around/with my flaws rather than through/against them.

I don’t mean give up and never try to improve, like a post I’ve seen here where someone got mad at their friends because their friends should just expect them to be late because ADHD. I mean stuff like that I set as many alarms and reminders as it takes, rather than deluding myself that “one alarm will be fine if I pay attention”.