Well I got into beehaw and I’m having a reddit-like experience for the first time in a year, but this time more wholesome

Fourth date with the chef girl went very well all this considered, we ended up having sex (non PIV since I was very physically but not mentally anxious annoyingly as I just couldn’t keep it up despite really wanting to and not feeling anxious at all mentally) which was amazing and she spent basically 5 or 6 hours at my place cuddling naked and doing stuff, then watched the bo burnham special ‘Inside’ which she is a big fan of. Quite good for my first musical.

Thankfully the girl is very understanding about the performance issues since it was my very first time doing anything like this and she is happy to see me agan twice next week :). She is so lovely.

Today’s the third anniversary of my dad’s death. It’s still so hard.

My brother is home for reading week and we’ve been playing board games a lot! In other news, going to see a documentary in a theatre today. It’s called Your Fat Friend and it’s soemthing I’ve been looking forward to for a while

“Everything is awesome! Everything is cool when you’re” checks notes “Drinking really nice scotch!”

I’m sorry to hear about your plumbing troubles! I hope you’ve made some progress since then.

It’s been rough over here. I’ve been at my job four years and I’m making as much as the new hires. I have a hunch they’ll raise my rent in September so I really want to go to tech school and get out of retail, but finding anyone in my area who will treat ADHD is hard. Knowing my past, I think it’ll be a huge waste if I enroll without getting medicated first.

The sun is coming out though, and I saw a Pink Floyd tribute show which was really fun. Good things will still pop up even if things get harder.

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On my way to a job interview that I’m really looking forward to. Got another less exciting one lined up afterwards. My current place is visibly going under, and I don’t plan to stick around for it.

got banned from lemmy.ml again for criticising communists… again

Getting ready to go to my annual eye exam. My eye pressure is high enough that it needs annual monitoring, though I’m hoping to still be in the range where it’s not something I’ll need to manage with medication.

We replaced our couch over the weekend; it was a hand me down from my mother in law that wasn’t really all that comfortable for our body shapes. The new one is much kinder to our backs, matches the dining furniture, and has a storage bay built into it to help with the floor space. The pup made a stink about losing his recliner that matches the old couch, mean mugging us until we brought his couch from the office out so he could still sit and watch nature tv. The cat took it immediately, but decided to share after a while.

JESYS FUCK IT’S BEEN 3 FUCKING DAYS AND IT FEELS LIKE IT’S BEEN 3 YEARS.

You might remember me posting a while ago about breaking up with my wife. That week does not even COMPARE to this week. I can’t mention a lot of it without a lot of people getting very angry, but maybe being angry would be an improvement over how things are now.

Got drunk tonight because everyone thought the drama was over, and we wanted to wind down. Turns out no, it was not over, and we got smacked with all of it at once AND MORE while drunk and of course, dealt with it like drunk idiots and made it worse.

So now it’s 6am. I haven’t slept. I won’t be sleeping. I feel like I’m gonna vomit. I gotta try not to make people angry tomorrow, people gotta try not to make me angry tomorrow. Nobody will succeed.

What sucks is there’s a bunch of amazing stuff that happened tonight, too, but it was more than ruined by drunk idiots like me handling drama. Jesus I want it to be over so I can just appreciate all the good stuff that came out of this, but that’s gonna take a lot longer than just this week.

EDIT: good news guys. I’m 36 minutes more sober and things already don’t feel that bad anymore. They were that bad, but now they don’t feel like it.

Edit: It’s the next day. It was surprisingly easy to smooth things over. Apparently the drunk stupidity ended up being a good thing somehow because it let everyone get everything out, zero filter, and now that everyone’s sober we were able to properly address things and things are actually dramatically improving now.
The short version is there were still some complicated feelings left after my breakup, and somebody close to me came out as trans right in the middle of it, so balancing trying to support them and trying to manage those leftover feelings fucked me and everyone else up bad. Now, it seems though that those feelings are finally getting left in the past, and I can fully focus on supporting them. There’s was also a short drunken probably undiagnosed bpd induced, definitely alcohol induced episode where I accused said trans person of lying about being trans with zero evidence, but luckily they’re an incredibly strong person and weren’t even phased by it, knowing I was drunk and also mentally ill, and instead choosing to gush over how pretty I said they were and how I’d told them I was super happy to know they trusted me, when I was less drunk. I’ve spent a part of this morning apologizing profusely for my behavior when I got clearly far too many drinks in.

How are we already in the second half of February? Has this month absolutely flown by for anyone else?

Busy week coming up, but mostly with events and activities that I’m looking forward to. Hope everyone has a good week!

the foster dog fail got the go-ahead from the vet to do agility, so coco echo is here to stay! i took her to a 30-minute agility lesson on friday, and she learned jump, tire, tunnel, dog walk, and A-frame. yesterday, she started working on the teeter and is so enthusiastic about learning new things.

one of my goals this year was to not get another dog, but sometimes the right dog comes along and… yeah. i think my partner will be happy to have a break from fostering, since that’s always a bit of a gamble. three is the maximum i can care for, so it’ll be awhile before i foster again. i still need to get the paperwork together (and write the check), but once that’s done she’ll officially be part of the family. <3

I’m okay. I was super tired toward the end of last week, to the point where I ate PTO on Friday just so I could go home and sleep. This week is whatever. I’m starting voice training which I’m super nervous about, and other than that it’s the same as always. I didn’t even get an extended weekend because I don’t work Mondays. 🥹

I’m out of town to help my parents move. Oh my god, my mom has so much shit. Especially kitchen stuff. Yes, she cooks (and cooks very well), but it’s not like she’s a passionate chef or baker who’s always cooking in her freetime, as like a hobby. Nor is she cooking to feed a family of 5. No, it’s just her and my dad, and my younger brother (who’s only just living at home temporarily again). My dad doesn’t have nearly as much stuff.

It’s boomer-level conspicuous consumption at it’s worst.

On the plus side, it’s my birthday today (as of this post). 37yo. What a weird age to be. It feels like no-man’s land. Gonna fly to San Diego for a few days to celebrate and enjoy. Off the rest of the week to do that. Rarely do the whole “birthday week” thing, but I needed a vacation.