Does anyone else feel a degree of imposter syndrome with work, like it’s only matter of time until you can’t work around your ADHD enough to avoid problems and everything falls apart?
I’m currently provisionally diagnosed with ADHD, pending further testing. I managed to get a degree and was working for a few years when someone recommended I get tested where I proceeded to finally pass this one test with flying colors…
My experience with work is that in the beginning, my attitude and enthusiasm to learn tends to give my bosses the impression that I have so much potential.
Then, cue the slow car crash that is me failing to meet that potential, then the cracks starting to show due to disorganisstion or task paralysis in my work, eventually putting me in a position where my competency is questioned and I’m falling behind on work because I’m struggling to meet (imo) great expectations that might seem realistic to neurotypical people, but is a struggle for me.
Then I jump ship to a new job, and the cycle restarts.
I thought I had a handle on my latest job. Stayed for just over a year. I thought this was it, I wasn’t an imposter, I was finally fitting in. Then cracks, and everything fell apart and I’m now at risk of losing my job again. I tried my best, and I just feel disappointed in myself, like even I can’t trust myself to do things right even at max effort.
This sucks.
If you trust your boss enough, I recommend having an honest conversation about the diagnosis and it’s implications. Keep in mind ADHD is not all downsides. It really comes down to understanding your strengths and weaknesses. Then making a plan to maximize the strength and compensate for the weakness. Again, if you trust your boss enough to want to help you grow this is probably the best path. Heck, you may not be doing as badly as YOU think you are doing.
I’m sort of on my last legs at this current job due to an accumulation of mistakes that could be attributed to ADHD behaviour. I hate using it as an excuse, but it colors so much of my behaviour. I don’t ever mean to make mistakes, and so much of them at that…
I have disclosed up my diagnosis to my boss to really try and improve my performance and work within my actual ability, and wrote my boss an email asking for accommodations. The follow up call was basically “You need to focus to do your job here” and “I understand you have been diagnosed, but this should not hinder your ability to do your job”.
I’ve been asked to submit my request for accommodations in writing, so it’s not like they’re completely against it. But I don’t trust that they actually understand the impact ADHD has always had on my ability to perform consistently at work and will be understanding of any missteps, even though I am trying to actively prove that I’m trying with medication and coping mechanisms.
I do have upsides. I work very well in crisis and urgent situations, though the sustained elevated stress leaves much to be desired.
That doesn’t sound like a great boss. But it sounds like are really trying to make things work, and I can appreciate the effort your making.