The first thing to bear in mind here is that to feel pain is to be human. There’s no way to disentangle the two. All you can do is learn to acknowledge that pain, and assign it a level of importance, then practice that assignation until, suddenly, at some point in the future you’ll realise that you’ve chilled right out.

All this is far easier said than done though.

In the short term, try to practice some level of mindfulness. When you catch yourself being angry, stop and ask yourself where the anger has come from. Is it because you no longer have control over a situation, or because someone has wronged you in some way? Could your anger be useful in resolving the issue, or is it clouding your judgement?

Once you begin interrogating your feelings, you’ll find them far easier to understand and control.

My first thought was: therapy. Find a good professional (sometimes takes a while) with whom you can try to understand and improve your life.

Obviously we’re different people, but my silver bullet was 300mg Wellbutrin. (150mg did nothing.)

I have ADHD that doesn’t respond to stimulants, so my doc tried Wellbutrin. Didn’t touch my ADHD, unfortunately, but I haven’t had a violent outburst in years. Last night, I dropped a piece of lasagna on the kitchen floor and reacted with a “goddammit,” instead of the tantrums I’ve had in the past. So much nicer.