You know how sometimes when you’re hungry you can open your mouth and saliva fires out from your salivary glands under your tongue like a friggin venom spitting snake? Usually happens at the worst times and a loved one might catch a stray. I might be nuts but I think I can do that on command. Is that normal?

30 for me this week

Was just shaving and noticed a HAIR protruding from one of my nostrils! NOOOOOO I’M NOT OLD YET!!

Yanked that mofo out of there. Now for some sweet sweet denial.

It’s insane to me that there isn’t an age cutoff of the standard retirement age for the highest-level job in the country.

If the party steps him down now, it’d be the responsible thing to do but it’d show weakness and go back on everything they’ve been saying (that he’s fine) and they seem too arrogant to do that. Plus the fickle media/voters would probably label the party as unstable (which maybe they are) and lose them the election.

If they leave him on and he dies soon, the party looks stupid for not standing him down sooner and if he dies after winning there would be a lot of talk about the intention of getting the VP in as president without people voting for them… another issue with their entire system of voting for the “president” and not the party/policies.

If they leave him on and he keeps kicking and wins, you’d have to trust that serious people are actually running the country and he’s just rolled out to flub through speeches and shake some hands. If he loses then they have 4 more years of a cartoon-supervillain president assuming he lives through them.

I don’t see a way back for the USA from the crips vs bloods level of division their people are in plus their need to make politics into entertainment. The hero-worshipping of their politicians is baffling to me. They’re politicians!

Just found salt and pepper in my parents pantry with best before dates of 2015.

Mine just arrived!

Breakfast burrito is my love language. Except for when places feel like they have to be too fancy and start throwing spinach in them.

Everyone loves lamb! Unfortunately, Nanna also lives in Mildura so no lamb for her. Not from me anyway.

I’ve been informed that it’s Vegas’ 10th birthday on Saturday! I need to figure out what to get him. Think I’ll hit up the butcher but I might have to wait until Saturday to do it so it doesn’t spoil the surprise, because he’ll smell it. I’ll swing by the big pet shop too and see if I can find something he might like.

Edit: Oh it’s also my nanna’s 98th birthday tomorrow. I don’t think she wants anything from the butcher.

• Waking up every 2 hours seemingly like clockwork to pee, although I don’t feel too bad this morning considering the disruptions
• Things in my parents’ kitchen which I might want being at least 6 months past their best before dates

A race! It’s on like donkey kong.

What a time to be alive! I didn’t feel any weirdness going to pick mine up from St Kilda BUT I was on my toes because where I parked felt like a slightly sketchy area and I figured scumbags might watch for people coming out of the dispensary and target them. Felt super sketchy like that around some of the US dispensaries I went to over there too.

Never actually had a problem though.

meanwhile I have one which was shipped yesterday from somewhere over the east side, I forget where exactly, went through Tullamarine last night and should be arriving at my front door of my parents place out in Melton any moment now (status is onboard for delivery as of 30 minutes ago)

sometimes they just get it right

bring me my weeeeeed mr postman

Can do! He posed politely for you

I’m grateful for:

• Never having tiktok since it’s inception
• Never having seen 2 girls 1 cup (if you don’t know don’t go looking)
• Vegas who is a good boy oh yes he is oh yes he’s such a good boy (I’m dog-sitting)

Helping!

Edit: couldn’t help myself… saw it at 299 comments so nabbed that #300

I’m grateful that I’ll be able to get one of those awesome sausage rolls for lunch from the bakery with the nice sausage rolls today. I’m also grateful to my parents dog Vegas who is a sweetheart and has been comfortable and happy with the 2 air conditioner repair dudes in the house at the moment (after an initial cautious sniff introduction when they got here)

I used to call my boss work dad… his boss was work grandad

Not quite the same as what you’re talking about but this brought up the memory. I made him a “worlds goodest work dad” mug once.

Was the dressing gown dark blue? Could be the same weirdo

Sitting in a fish and chips shop in Melton and a dude saunters in wearing a dressing gown, beard and ponytail. This guy should be on a government list.