My mother got put back on her disability benefits and now I’m hunting down apartments for us to live in to get out of a bad housing situation that we were stuck in because it was cheap and we only had one income.

Got two viewings this week.

Fetishes are fun, while reconsidering your morals is not.

It isn’t even exclusive to us. Many times, when someone is “in the mood”, they just go for what they’re in the mood for without thinking about it in the moment. They can look at all the erotica they want, and then experience self-hating guilt afterwards for a good five minutes, and then repeat the same thing next Tuesday.

Fata Morgana.

Listen, whether you like Visual Novels or not doesn’t matter. But Fata Morgana is just somehow…perfect. Everything is resolved and I don’t feel any need to complain about any aspect of it. It was an experience to play a game that left me with no questions afterwards. It was just a really good story.

Having just a teensy bit of a nervous breakdown reevaluating my life choices the night before a job interview.

Gonna try to get to sleep, though.

Using drawing as an example, because that’s what I’m used to:

The problem (or good thing) with art is that it’s definitely a matter of mindset that lets you improve. See, everyone is a beginner at art!

There’s no such thing as an artist that doesn’t need to practice. Every artist has to practice gestures, figure drawings, environmental drawings, all those fundamentals that pop up in beginner courses. Eventually, they start to learn shortcuts. They start to memorize specific ways of drawing the torso bent a certain way that pops up in their art a lot. These shortcuts speed up their art, makes it seem like they’re a master, but…

They’re still beginners. They’re skilled, but they’re still in the beginning of their journey, because art is a life-long journey. It’s something you constantly improve at, constantly decline, constantly go on a roller coaster of failures after failures and success after success.

A beginning itself isn’t a failure. Actually, the majority of failed art isn’t a failure, because hey—your observation skills are good enough that you know whats wrong in your mind, you just have to figure out the way to get there and improve.

Some people are good at the artist mindset, and some people aren’t. It’s not a matter of talent, beginners vs pros, so forth. It’s just a matter of how you think of self-improvement and how you cope with things.

Not going well but I am not without hope either.

My mom didn’t get approved for social assistance so I’m crunching numbers on our budget for the next month or so.

Brought out the instant pot and made some nice black beans, which I turned into black bean burgers. 😋

Switched from Pop OS to Linux Mint, liking the experience so far. Not as cute as Pop OS was, but I like the interface and the battery alerts and sound effects. So it’s not bad.

I love visual novels but I’m so bad at playing them. I keep buying them because I love to support the industry, but they tend to be hours and hours long so I don’t finish them, aha.

The last one I played through a route on was “Life After Magic” which is a pretty relatable queer VN about a Sailor Moon expy who dropped out of high school and ended up in a dead-end job, having to reunite with her friends / potential love interests. I’d like to finish this one because I know you can date the villain in one route.

KDE Connect means that I can ping my phone that’s usually presumably somewhere behind my bed or on a counter somewhere, without having to sheepishly walk to the nearest person and ask “can you call my phone I lost it :c”

I notice injustice, I just don’t often do anything about it because of my anxiety disorder, which makes me cry myself to sleep for six hours.

Oh definitely. Let’s talk about adhd for a second.

So first of all, everyone assumes the only issues it causes is with work and schooling. Once it affects your daily life, That’s when allies start to eye you weirdly. Sorry, what do you mean that you can’t do laundry right now because of “executive dysfunction”—even kids can do their chores if their parents bug them enough!

Secondly, resources are slim. Books are targeted towards teenagers in school, parents and their unruly kids, parents and their gifted kids…but there sadly isn’t as many books on adult ADHD unless it’s an organization book!

Next, let’s talk about the depression and stress it causes. No one clues into that. Free therapy in my province is targeted towards warped thinking, which is great and all but doesn’t help at all when it comes to adhd. I’m not necessarily depressed because I thought of the bad things that are going to happen–I’m depressed because I can’t physically bring myself to do something productive right now. It’s executive dysfunction, not sadness.

Surprisingly, I installed Calibre on Linux and for some reason it just looks…better on Linux? Not sure if its because it opened up in default dark mode or what, but it doesn’t look as ugly when I’m using it on Pop_OS. Feels at home, really.

I will say its definitely a beast. I’ve used it a few times but I never really went in depth with it’s features. I’m definitely liking the bulk tag editing, the shop search (I’ve been looking for a way to search DRM-free books and it has it!), and the default tags. The last one is mainly because I think getting a tag called “mentally ill women” for The Yellow Wallpaper is a little funny.

It took me a few seconds to figure out what the heck just popped up on the side of my screen, haha! Thank you for the potatoes.

Out of curiosity do you find that neocities is easy to set up for a beginner? I’d like to get into blogging that I don’t have to worry about getting comments on. Something where I can just ramble on a bit about how things went that day, what I learned, and then post and never touch it unless I want to reread that day’s entry.