Even on mbin where I can’t see your pronouns, your username itself is Emily. There’s no excuse for their behavior.

I’d love to know why you think it’s okay to insult her like that.

Hi 😊 Apparently DMs between Lemmy and Kbin/Mbin still do not work, so I can only see DMs from other Kbin/Mbin users.

I’ve sent you a DM from my Lemmy account.

I’ve checked out fetlife, but it unfortunately requires javascript, which is a hard pass from me. I don’t feel comfortable accessing sites that block users like me. The reason that I use kbin/mbin is because it does not require javascript at all. Account creation and use of the platform are free from that requirement, giving me a better user experience and increased privacy.

Thank you for the suggestion though ❤️

I appreciate the recommendation, but there really aren’t any mobile apps that are compatible with my Librem 5 phone. I run Linux, and I’m not comfortable running “traditional” apps that contain surveillance malware and engage in data harvesting. Social websites generally tend to require too much personal information, and so I feel banned from those platforms. I’m very glad to have access to the fediverse. Without it, I would have nothing.

I’m going to try to go to Pride events for the first time in my life and see if I can find anyone.

Sending love and support to you and everyone stuck in Florida ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Well I’m thankfully close to the Greater New Orleans Area, instead of being totally isolated from blue cities. As a last resort, I might try to work up the courage to go to Pride stuff this year, but I’m so nervous of large crowds of people and evereything being recorded for social media now. If it weren’t for all of the cameras, I might actually be able to find LGBTQ+ people during carnival time.

Thank you for the luck 🍀 😊

Hiya. It’s kinda hard for me to pulll away from Matrix and the friends that I’ve made there, and I’ve not been good about remembering to come back here to the fediverse. I really created this thread looking specifically for people to meet offline. If you’re looking for more offine friends, you might want to join us on Matrix.

Also, thank you for saying my name 😊 It feels so nice to see.

I appreciate the advice, but I would sooner harm myself than go back to facebook (sorry if that’s too dark). If my choices in life are between being surrounded by friends while all interactions are monitored closely by facebook, or being forever alone and disallowed from human experiences, then there’s really nothing here for me anymore. I hope it doesn’t come to that.

Thanks cowboy, and yes it’s been nice.

Thank you for the reminder for myself and others that read this thread. Yes, I am aware of the dangers and the necessity of public meetings, and I’d probably bring a family member with me if I actually find someone here to meet.

Thank you for the well wishes and support.

You’re in southeast Louisiana? Do you happen to use Matrix? I’d rather not join things like Discord if I can help it, and I’m not really a gamer. My laptop probably couldn’t handle running steam anyway.

I do advise keeping an eye open for opportunities elsewhere.

I have been wanted to evacuate soon, but my heart is pulling me in lots of different directions, and I don’t really know which path to follow.

In the meantime, you’re not going to be a fan of this advice, but discord is a good place to find communities.

Yeah, that’s what my friend Lacey was telling me. I just can’t do that right now. Making these posts is difficult enough.

Thank you for the well wishes.

I get the suspicion that some of the more spirited discussions so far came with a tinge of suspicion that I’m one of the bad folks looking to invade spaces and sow discord,

Yeah, we generally have to have our guard up, especially in these types of threads. I don’t know if you’re familiar with the “just asking questions” type of transphobe, but it is a very real problem for communities like this one. The topic or phrasing of a question can raise red-flags for sure.

But I believe that you’re being sincere.

For some of us yes, and for others no.

It’s difficult for me to even imagine the complexities of such a world that lacks gender norms. Would there be fewer trans people? Possibly. But in such a world, there would still be trans people like me that feel a strong need for surgery.

Edit: Forgot to mention HRT, which many of us would still need.

I maybe got a little carried away in this comment.

What really pissed you off in a therapy session?

TL,DR: lack of privacy, security, communication, and respect

I’m not going to discuss the conservative “therapist” I had. I did eventually get an LGBTQ-friendly therapist.

I discovered that my therapist was typing up her notes on a Windows computer with a keylogger enabled by default, sending the data to Microsoft. The notes were also stored unencrypted on a server accessible by the entire IT department of the clinic.

She didn’t understand the issue. This clearly voids patient-doctor confidentiality, and it destroyed my trust in the clinic.

I’ve experienced another issue while searching for a new therapist.

I found a therapist on the psychology today site that listed a full address. I showed up to make an appointment for a first session just to learn that she doesn’t accept new clients without a phone call or email.

The only reason I had considered her was that she listed a full address, implying that phone and email weren’t needed.

So I would recommend clearly communicating things like this, be privacy-conscious, and respect patient-doctor confidentiality. Without these fundamentals, there is no foundation of trust and respect.

What is the most important thing for me to try to understand?

I think the most important thing to understand for trans patients is that everyone’s transition is unique, including the personal story.

So for instance, some trans girls/women say they were always a girl/woman, while others say they became a girl/woman.

It’s important to listen and understand the individual and not get ahead of yourself.

I hope this is helpful, or at least interesting.

I’d like to respond to some of the things discussed in this thread, but I don’t want to directly reply to anyone. I just want to share my perspective, not argue.

Transgender is currently accepted as an umbrella term and includes a variety of identities. What these identities have in common is that they are not cisgender. Disagreements about which identities fall under the trans umbrella are really about the specificity of the label itself. Some people seem to want the umbrella to be split into two distinctly different labels, with one being specifically for trans people who seek medical transition.

It all comes down to the definition of transgender as an umbrella term. Definitions of terms change, and it’s not unreasonable to think that transgender may change meaning again in the near future. But right now, “not cisgender” is what defines transgender identities, and that includes non-binary people and trans people that don’t seek medical transition.

As someone medically transitioning by HRT and seeking SRS, my identity is not diminished in any way by acknowledging the validity of other identities. My recent meme explicitly explains my desire for SRS, and there was no push-back. That’s because I was explaining my own transition and not attempting to define other people.

Not all trans people seek medical transition, and that’s valid. Not all trans people seeking medical transition want both HRT and SRS, and that’s also valid. And what trans people want for themselves can change. It’s important that non-cisgender people be accepted as transgender so they can accept themselves. Big questions about possible medical transition can be decided later.

Our enemies are the transphobes attacking our freedoms. Let’s be kind to our fellow trans people.

❤️