Way better than instant. Two parts water, one part oats. Boil the water, turn off the burner, add the oats. Sprinkle a bit of salt. Stir to make sure all the oats are wet, cover. Wait a few minutes.
While you’re waiting, put whatever you want into a bowl - butter, syrup, brown sugar, cinnamon, bits of fruit, honey, peanut butter, jelly, etc. (Probably not all of those at once, but you do you.) Serve the oatmeal on top of the add-ons, mix.
I totally agree on the toasting, but note that it means the oats take longer to cook in the water. Also, I use a 2:1 ratio of water:milk instead of just water.
Also, also, I add a handful of rolled oats when the steel cut oats are nearly done.