Years ago I read a reddit thread saying you shouldn’t pursue friendships or relationships at your workplace. Then I again see all over the places over the internet that friendships don’t happen a lot after you become working adult and that they’re struggling make new friends. My question is If you don’t purse friendships, how would those happen?
Want to know about the thoughts of people over here.
So (in my opinion) you need to first be very clear about your goal… You shouldn’t just DO or NOT DO anything really - YOU are the variable that needs to be accounted for.
If you are younger or desperate for social interactions/ friendships, and depending on the type of job, you can often make great friends at/through work. So if that is your priority, this is an opportunity.
But, work friendships come with professional risk. Your managers aren’t your friends, that dynamic will betray you if push comes to shove AND that thing you do/say at that party will be considered in your performance review and/or reported to HR. So, if career it your priority, then be pleasant, but leave it at “work friends” no genuine attachments.
But not all work relationships are between managers and direct reports. It would take a lot for me to become a friend with a manager or direct report outside of work. However, it is a lot easier if it is a coworker or someone in a different department.
I’m not speaking exclusively of relationships with managers. It’s all “dangerous” on that side. I say avoid the risk if your social relationships outside of work are otherwise satisfactory. Again, if social connecting becomes your top priority over career, you can push boundaries at work, otherwise I’d say find an excuse to not go out for drinks and generally stay in the “middle” area where people speak about you in vague, but pleasant, terms… Then go home and live your REAL life with close friends, romantic partners and family who actually care for you.
Really, your work ultimately doesn’t give a SHIT about you. Everyone would still be expected to clock in tomorrow if you dropped dead tonight. Take the hint and invest the BARE MINIMUM in work.
If work is so shitty, then why not have a friend too commiserate with at work?
If my coworkers are such horrible people because they work at the company I work at, what does that say about me?
To first half, nobody is stopping you if that’s your priority, Brad…
And second half seems to be a false premise you just supposed entirely from your asshole?
Night night now.
I’m replying because the premise of the discussion is for the person asking the question to others if making friends from work is bad. Yes, no one is stopping me, but a third person is asking for the pros and cons and I’m responding to give that person context.
And the second part is based on how you are viewing the relationship of different people in the organization. Yes, the senior leadership sees you as a replaceable cog, but people work together with other replaceable cogs. The way you’re discussing it, it sounds like you’re taking the views of senior management and saying all the employees will act and think the same way as senior management. Which is why I brought you up; you’re a cog just the rest of them. If you’re going to assume the rest of the cogs are going to act that way, what makes you so special in that you are the only one who acts differently?