There, I said it. Had some Wagyu A5, genuine certified import from Japan prepared by an actual chef on a handful of occasions. The last one was on Saturday as part of a business conference in the exec suite of some fancy hotel, talking to potential investors.

The set menu cost the equivalent of $700 per person, wines not included.

And. I. still. don’t. like. it.

The meat is simply too rich, too soft, too greasy. There’s no bite to it. Every time I try it, it reminds me of sucking on a piece of beef flavored butter. A slightly solidified cube of beef lard.

Just give me a Black Angus rump or sirloin steak if you must, that’s pretentious enough at a fraction of the cost and provides such a nicer eating experience.

And please, PLEASE, for the love of everything holy, don’t give me Wagyu cubes topped of with steamed foie gras. That’s akin to buttering your lard. Maybe in 50 years when all my teeth are gone, I’ll appreciate being able to grind down a piece of beef between my gums. But as it stands, the Wagyu hype couldn’t die fast enough.

/rant