This was suggested to me by @BackOnMyBS@lemmy.autism.place.

  • I’m a late teen (17). I got an autism diagnosis (which still causes more problems, than good) when I was three years old.
  • You already know a lot about autism (since most of you are autistic), so you don’t need any explanation (even if it’s a spectrum).
  • Now let’s explain why I think I’m a narcissist: When I entered high school a few years ago, I started feeling superior to my schoolmates. At first I felt, this was justified, as I have way better grades than my schoolmates (and had a way higher admission score (or whatever it’s called) than others), but later I realized, it was unjustified, as even if I’m smarter, than everyone, I have other challenges (executive function, procrastination of anything related to communication). That wouldn’t be anything weird, but even after that realization, I just can’t grasp the fact my schoolmates aren’t stupid and useless. AMA

PS:I know it’s a way too long post and doesn’t belong here, but it is what it is.

  • monsterpiece42@reddthat.com
    2·
    4 days ago

    Edit from future me: This got long quick, but I assure you this is info that could be valuable to you!

    Hey OP, good work trying to learn more about yourself and sharing it amongst others instead of creating your own echo chamber.

    I’m in my 30s and autistic. I had a very similar experience to you in HS especially, and the military after that.

    My nephew lives with me because I’m the only one in the family that “gets him”–most of the others in the family think he’s a narcissist. He’s not, and I don’t think you are either. When this came up in the family, I did what autistic people do and deep-dove this. Here’s my thoughts in no particular order:

    • as a rule of thumb, if you’re considering if you’re a narcissist, you’re likely not. Narcissists will often know they’re being shitty to people, but either won’t care or will barely care, and squash it down.

    • there are a couple “levels” of narcissism: having narcissistic traits is something common in most if not all people. They may not have all of them, and the motivation will be way different, but most people have at least a couple. The more severe/clinical level of narcissism is called Narcissistic Personality Disorder and it is extremely dangerous. NPD people are often violent when receiving criticism and/or when they lose control.

    • Side note: you cannot even be diagnosed NPD until you are 18, and NPD is like a fork in the road: the longer you stay on the narcissist path, the more severe you get.

    • Narcissism is a learned behavior and is treatable, if you choose. If you can get professional help that is of course best but there are self-guided resources to help learn healthier habits if professional help is not possible.

    • I’m not sure how far you got in your studies, but there are 9 signs of a narcissist, and you described maybe 1.5 of them. I’m not sure if you didn’t come across the others but here’s a quality article about them: https://www.dukehealth.org/blog/9-signs-of-narcissistic-personality-disorder

    Good on you for making it this far if you did. If you need anything about this, feel free to reach out. I am not a professional but psychology is my special interest and I can provide sources from actually qualified people for everything I say. I wish you luck in your endeavors!

    • Persen@lemmy.worldOP
      1·
      4 days ago

      Wow thanks. My mother often verbaly attacks me for not showing empathy (for example, when we were watching a shitty movie about a sociopath manipulating and murdering a family, I said I have no empathy for them, as they should have noticed the sighs and got rid of him while they had a chance).

      • Some of these actually describe me:

      • Sense of self-importance - I think, I should be considered above average in intelligence.

      • Preoccupation with power, beauty, or success  - When I describe myself, I make small changes to my behavior and things I say (probably just masking).

      • Entitled - If someone does something to me, I perceive unfair, I make sure they suffer.

      • Interpersonally exploitative for their own gain - only if linked to the last statement

      • Lack empathy - to people I hate or perceive bad.

      • Must be admired - My self esteem falls if nobody tells me i’m significantly above average in something.

      • Envious of others or believe that others are envious of them - I used to envy my classmate, who was described as a genius by the whole class. Later this fell apart as he stopped learning as much. Now, he is percieved as a unsympathetic, self centered person.

  • sunbrrnslapper@lemmy.world
    101·
    15 days ago

    I am not on the spectrum (I follow the community because I have 2 kids on the spectrum). I did, however, go to high school and also thought I was smarter than everyone else. I was probably smarter than some people. But as I’ve grown up, my perspective has shifted: (1) smarts are genetic, like being pretty, and both are like winning the genetic lottery. In contrast, people who work hard have earned it. (2) Being academically gifted does not always translate into success later in life. EQ, hard work and luck also play into it. Anywho, I thought I would pass that along because I’m not so sure you are a narcissist, but maybe just haven’t had as much experience. Best of luck to you!

    • oracle@lemmy.world
      2·
      14 days ago

      To add to this, here is a rough explanation of why “average” people still exist.

      If you take every job in the world, and group them up, you’re gonna get significantly more maintenance type jobs, time-gated jobs, tetris type jobs, and basically every job that requires about 2 brain cells to perform perfectly, than any job that actually requires critical thinking.

      So we can either take you, the smartest meat popsicle man on the planet, and make you stand there and hold a stop sign in the middle of traffic in 100F/38C weather for 10 hours straight six days a week,

      OR

      we can give that job to somebody else and have you design highway interchanges.

      Take your pick.

    • Persen@lemmy.worldOP
      32·
      14 days ago

      That might be true, as I haven’t manipulated a lot of people (I just do it if I feel in danger). I don’t fake being victimized to manipulate people, I actually feel like a victim in multiple situations.

  • frogfruit@slrpnk.net
    6·
    14 days ago

    I’m not sure this is actually narcissism. I felt very similar throughout my teens, but it is something I grew out of in my early/mid 20s. I think there are a few reasons for this. Often, people just grow out of it, through brain development or just spending more time around other people. Empathy can also be intentionally strengthened like a muscle.

    I studied psychology, neuroscience, philosophy, and logic to understand the general human mind. When you study a lot of things, you learn how little you know. You also get to see how much better other people are at certain things. I no longer assume I’m smarter than anyone else even if it’s obvious in one particular subject or several subjects, because they are probably smarter than me in other ways.

    I also saw a therapist and spent more time around other people. I made an effort to understand others’ points of view, asking questions if needed, and really tried to imagine their life experiences and how they could come to feel or believe certain things. This will be an exercise at first but it eventually comes naturally for the most part.

  • TheBluePillock@lemmy.world
    5·
    12 days ago

    The term narcissist is somewhat overused, though there are also a lot of them these days. To echo a bit of what others said, thinking average high schoolers are dumb is not a sign of narcissism. Average high schoolers are notoriously foolish. Even if you feel like it’s more than that and it’s a serious problem, that alone does not make a narcissist.

    Actual narcissists are unstable. They need the adoration of others to feel good about themselves. They’re prone to fits of rage when anything damages their ego, and they can take just about anything as criticism then decide to fly off the handle.

    If that is you, get help from a professional who specializes in it. If anyone reading this knows a person like that, read up and find a way to save yourself.

    • Persen@lemmy.worldOP
      2·
      12 days ago

      Well, I actually have a fluctuating ego. Sometimes I do have extreme reactions to opinions, but they are not rage and are usually internalized. Thanks for the explanation, which pulls me further into the rabbit hole of psychology (which I still don’t understand).

  • iamdisillusioned@lemmy.world
    5·
    13 days ago

    I don’t think you’ve got a good grasp on what narcissism is. There’s the official diagnosis and the layperson definition and both require externalization. You can’t just think you’re better, you’d feel in your soul that you were better and would use and abuse those around you. Thinking people are worthless is another indicator that you aren’t. If you were one, you’d see the value in those idiots because of how easy they are to exploit.

    • Persen@lemmy.worldOP
      1·
      13 days ago

      You’re probably right. This may just be social isolation. The sign of narcissism might be, that I only make friends with people, whose help I could rely on.