Sure, “nice” needs some definition.
But that’s your call. I’m asking you if you are a nice person.
I‘d say I‘m honest and loyal, not particularly nice. To me nice means diplomatic, charismatic and with low temper.
Came here to say that.
Couldn’t have said it better myself.
I’m balanced.
I’ll help you push you car. I’ll hold the door for anyone, I’ll let you in, in traffic. I’ll over-tip the wait staff, even the ones having a bad day. I give kids in my neighborhood freezypops when it’s hot AF. I’ll go out of my way to make sure your food allergy is covered and you’ll have safe snacks at my gathering.
I won’t give the guy begging on the corner money. I won’t help you forever if you never reciprocate. You skip a paycheck, I won’t wait for you to get it sorted.
I won’t remember that you hate mushrooms. I won’t remember your kids name or wife’s face. I’ll forget you birthday if it’s not in my calendar. I’ll tell you I need to focus on something for an hour and go take a nap.
We’ll get along just fine. But I will remember the kid’s face if they’re cool.
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You aren’t grumpy. You’re just conserving your emotional bandwidth for when it is really needed.
That’s how I choose to interpret this, anyway.
I like to think I am. I used to be a piece of shit, and I’ve worked really hard over the last 9 years to become a better person. I don’t always succeed, as the old demons like to pop their heads out every now and again, but I do put forth great effort most times.
We’re all on a journey. None of us have arrived. The effort counts.
I’m afraid not, I’ve never been to France much less be familiar enough to claim to be one of them.
It’s very dry there.
Depends. I default to being friendly, but I’m not good at it. I’m a terrible conversationalist, and what is logical to me (from my perspective) often gets misconstrued as being an asshole. It’s never my intention, but I’m awful at reading people too. I just never really took the time to learn how to… people.
I take “nice” to mean something very different than “good” or “kind”. No, I am not a nice person. I am inclined to be an honest asshole over a nice liar. I try my best to be good, kind, understanding, etc., but “nice” is, in my books, more about manners than good acts or genuine understanding. And I generally feel that time and effort spent on attempting to be “nice” is much better spent on genuinely empathizing with and supporting people, even when that support isn’t kind or well-mannered at a glance.
I think I just take issue with the word “nice”.
I like you. I’m the same way. Never met an asshole that was being dishonest. That’s why I feel like I can trust them more than I can trust ‘nice’ people.
So yeah, I might not be nice. In fact, sometimes I’m a downright asshole. But I’ll usually give you the shirt off of my back to help you if you need it.
I’m a pheasant plucker.
I try to be, but don’t always hit the mark.
I try to be when I can muster up the courage to speak. I’ve always been taught to treat others like how you want to be treated and since I can’t handle people yelling and screaming I try to avoid that altogether. Even if you’re mean to me, I’ll try to be nice or I just don’t say anything.
Fuck you mind your own business.
I try. I don’t always succeed.
No. I aspire to be kind to people that need kindness, though.
No. I am kind. I am genuine. I am not nice. I have become too tired to put on a mask anymore.
No… In my defence…
“Nice people made the best Nazis. My mom grew up next to them. They got along, refused to make waves, looked the other way when things got ugly and focused on happier things than “politics.” They were lovely people who turned their heads as their neighbors were dragged away. You know who weren’t nice people? Resisters.”– Naomi Shulman
I think this is where the specific definition of “nice” is crucial. I think it’s very possible to still be “nice” while also being confrontational or standing up for things, and in fact, doing it nicely but without backing down can sometimes be extremely effective.
I know the “nice” you are referring to, where someone uses it as a shield for uncaring, selfish behavior. I’d of course rather have someone who isn’t so “nice” who earnestly tries to do the right thing than that kind of nice.
