(Content warning, discussions of SA and misogyny, mods I might mention politics a bit but I hope this can be taken outside the context of politics and understood as a discussion of basic human decency)

We all know how awful Reddit was when a user mentioned their gender. Immediate harassment, DMs, etc. It’s probably improved over the years? But still awful.

Until recently, Lemmy was the most progressive and supportive of basic human dignity of communities I had ever followed. I have always known this was a majority male platform, but I have been relatively pleased to see that positive expressions of masculinity have won out.

All of that changed with the recent “bear vs man” debacle. I saw women get shouted down just for expressing their stories of being sexually abused, repeatedly harassed, dogpiled, and brigaded with downvotes. Some of them held their ground, for which I am proud of them, but others I saw driven to delete their entire accounts, presumably not to return.

And I get it. The bear thing is controversial; we can all agree on this. But that should never have resulted in this level of toxicity!

I am hoping by making this post I can kind of bring awareness to this weakness, so that we can learn and grow as a community. We need to hold one another accountable for this, or the gender gap on this site is just going to get worse.

      • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
        21·
        6 months ago

        Yes, mods in most communities expect discussions not to descend into people hurling insults at each other because that turns the community into chaos and also does not make it a safe place for marginalized groups and why you would be against such a policy to the point of being so rude to me, I’m not sure. But if you feel that you need a place where you can be as insulting towards people as you like, may I suggest 4chan?

        • whoreticulture@lemmy.blahaj.zone
          22·
          6 months ago

          How is “may I suggest 4chan”, a notoriously transphobic website, directed at someone from the Trans Lemmy, not supposed to be an insult?

          How is “fuck you” an insult? It doesn’t attack you in any way whatsoever it just shows disrespect. I’m allowed to not respect you. Didn’t say anything about you or even call you an asshole.

          You’re not protecting marginalized groups, you’re enforcing a standard of civility that is usually used to tell minorities “shut up, why are you so angry”

          If protecting minorities was the goal, the rule would be against racism, sexism, etc… but that’s not the rule.

          I already explained several times why I’m against the policy but idk I guess you can’t read that well? Really the only explanation I have here.

          • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
            21·
            6 months ago

            the rule would be against racism, sexism, etc… but that’s not the rule.

            That is stated explicitly in the communities I moderate.

            Examples-

            World News:

            Ten Forward:

            Lemmy Shitpost:

            I don’t know what you are entitled to do in this community in terms of moderation, but you are not entitled to make up your own so-called facts unchallenged.

            • whoreticulture@lemmy.blahaj.zone
              34·
              6 months ago

              Okay, if the civility rule is in place to protect minorities as you say, than why would we need a civility rule? That’s my point. We already have rules against bigotry.

              You totally missed my point 🙄 and then you get all snooty about “facts unchallenged”. When really you just continually misunderstand or ignore my very clearly spelled out argument against this dumbass civility rule. Is this civility? You’re just ignoring all my points and posting useless screenshots.

              • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
                1·
                6 months ago

                Your words:

                If protecting minorities was the goal, the rule would be against racism, sexism, etc… but that’s not the rule.

                I showed that this was a false claim.

                So you can say I missed your point, but your point was based on a false claim. And now you’re moving the goalposts.

                • whoreticulture@lemmy.blahaj.zone
                  21·
                  6 months ago

                  I said “that’s not the rule”, not “that’s not a rule”. As in, that’s not the rule you’re talking about. You’re literally just misunderstanding me, probably deliberately, and ignoring all my points to focus on pedantics! This is why you suck so bad dude!

                  You’re ignoring the topic at hand to focus on something that you misinterpreted. Embarassing for you. Can’t believe you’re trying to turn this discussion into a grammar lesson, rather than the fact that your enforcement of civility rules is a shit thing to do.

                  So back to the topic, if civility rules exist to defend minorities, which is what you claimed … why do we need them if we already have rules against bigotry and hate speech!!!

                  And also back to the topic, how is continuing to ignore the conversation to rudely insist on your incorrect interpretation of my clear words… even after I clarified … how is that civil lmao

                  • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
                    1·
                    6 months ago

                    I’m still not understanding why it’s a shitty thing to stop people from having shouting matches and being bigots, which is what the civility rules are for, and you keep being rude rather than explaining it.

                    But it seems like you are not a fan of the ‘no shouting matches’ part, which seems to be the problem. And, again, I would suggest 4Chan if you want endless shouting matches.